i've seen the lucky and i've seen the unfortunate. i am fortunate enough to have lived both paths but come out as one of the lucky in the end. the streets are rough and unforgiving while everyone who sees you really doesn't comprehend where you've been and what you've seen. they only see where you are and what you can afford. money blinds us all. anyone can understand when you can afford to give. but who will stay when all you can offer is yourself? few will stick by through the rough times and be there even in the smallest of ways. trust doesn't come cheap. it costs time, support, comprehension, and willingness to do all of these. find those few and hold on, for they are the backbone to your sanity. wait until you find the true because they are worth waiting for. my past couple years...

high school. arrested at school. kicked out. arrested again 10 days later. sentenced 9 month probation. switched school. gave up on life. fucked up probation at 5 months. left home and on the run from the law. slept outside and couch surfed. stayed about 6 different places over 1 year time. warrants caught up to me. arrested again. 2 weeks in county. 1 month house arrest. sentenced 4 month probation.

i am now at the end of probation and will be done the 16th of October. thank god i will finally be free from the legal bullshit. the offense was committed when i was 17, therefore my case is juvenile and ive been on juvenile probation the whole time. i am about to be 20. juvenile probation required me to live with my parents as well as have a legal curfew of 10pm weekdays and 12am weekends. needing to be clean isnt that big of a deal. the living at home and curfew are the worst by far. but i am so close to freedom and i will be out of this house by next fall anyway. and at least i am now achieving where i wanted to be in life what with college and all that. given time, things do get better. it just comes down to believing and putting forth the effort to attain what you want out of life. so here i am, doing better than i was and now back to working on writing. i have some new stuff somewhere ill just have to go through and see what i have yet to post and what i even want to post. to whoever even reads this, i hope you are motivated and fortunate enough to get anything you ever wanted out of life, and that you have the wisdom to know what those desires truly are.


...oh and one more thing...

i understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors, but theres no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? screw scissors, why cant paper so this to people? why arent sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? ill tell you why, because paper cant beat up anybody. a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. when i play rock paper scissors, i always choose rock. then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, i can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shit, im sorry. i thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

^^^^i fuckin concur

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